For some, absolutely but for others not so much. I rarely ever write anything about "me" or personal but sometimes I think it's necessary to make ones self have some sense of relief, a sense of peace. Here it is not even Dec. 1st and I'm having my first sad moment all brought on by a Christmas carol I heard on my drive home. Just like that, emotions stirred, awakened within me and I can't shake the sadness that's been brought on. The kids are watching Rudolph and all is well and cheerful in their world and of course it will remain that way because I will see to it but I often grieve in silence for a mother I lost eleven years ago come Dec. 23rd. People don't realize that Christmas isn't always a cheerful time for people. Now my mother absolutely loved the holiday and I have childhood memories of it truely being the most magical time of the year so I strive to make it like that for my kids. They know no sadness or feel any loss around Christmas and I pray they never do. For me to think they will never feel it is to be ignorant but I just pray their holiday will always remain "merry and bright". I'm sure we all miss loved ones around the holidays, I just seem to struggle throughout the month of December at times and a carol can hurt, the first snow can hurt, the houses decorated so pretty can even sting. It's hard to explain. I just yearn for my mom who loved all these things and wish I could share them with her. I will grieve only for a short time and move on to making my children enjoy the season and trying my best to teach them that it is about our lord and savior, Jesus Christ. I pray my mom is enjoying it to the fullest by his side and they give me extra strength to endure yet another Christmas without her smiling, ever so cheerful spirit. This song is comforting to me. Hug your loved ones and tell them you love them.... not only during this holiday season but always and "all ways".
Merry Christmas!
1 comments:
Loved your heartfelt comments. I always listened to Sarah McClachlan's cd, particularly "Angel", in the years I was driving back and forth so much to Akron for Ashley to visit the Huggins family. I thought so much about my Dad, listening to that song - and I felt a mixture of sadness and a sense of peace and comfort at the same time.
I understand the grief, the sadness, the ache in your heart. Receiving love and giving love helps to heal the hurt. Know you are loved by many people. And your Mom, an angel now, lovingly watches over your family. And I'm certain she couldn't be more proud of the wonderful wife and mother you have become.
Post a Comment